The world changed forever a week ago as we lost Paul Parets from this mortal coil. While Parets made an impact on this world in many different arenas, he was best known by thousands for a role he served in for 36 years: Director of Band at Alexis I. duPont High School in Greenville Delaware. I had the honor and privilege of being part of these bands from 1996-1999.
I tend to operate with personal humility and collective hubris, and to the latter, I'm fully willing to say we were the best. The stat sheet speaks for itself: Five Rose Parades. Three presidential inaugurations. Multiple trips each to the Lord Mayor's New Year's Day Parade in London, St. Patrick's Day in Ireland, and the Pope's New Year's Day address in the Vatican. Fiesta Bowl Parade. Orange Bowl Parade. A standing invitation to the nation's oldest Thanksgiving Day Parade. And a bandroom full of trophies from competitions in the US and Canada boasting words like "SUPERIOR" and "CHAMPION." Through those travels, thousands got to see the world far beyond Delaware. Through the competitions, those same students came to see the fruits of hard work. Yet through all of those accolades, they were just a portion of the lasting impact Parets had on those who knew him.
I shared some of this before, on the occasion of his retirement a dozen years ago. The Tiger Band's success was a function of hard work, certainly, but that hard work was a byproduct of its architecture. Mr. Parets operated the band on the uncommon if not radical idea that if you give teenagers some autonomy and the right guidance, they can do amazing things - and as importantly, learn so much about working with themselves and others.
 |
| My mom still had this one from 1999. |
Every profile of Mr. Parets will mention the band - it's impossible to overlook. But there was so much to be learned from little lessons within and beyond the band room. For instance, when you descend upon a hotel with more than 200 teenagers, there are some common courtesies you have to instill them with. Stand back and let people off the elevator before rushing to get on. You are always a reflection of your family and your organization. I remember when a fellow member mentioned to the student newspaper that people came to the football games for the band, because the team wasn't very good. While this was true, Mr. P had us consider how that might make our fellow students on the football team - some of whom were in the band - feel. Beyond the band, Parets served on city council in Delaware City. Once a month, symphonic wind ensemble rehearsals would move to accommodate, showing us all that even with all of the time band took up, other things can and should be prioritized. He was a loving father, and made the importance of family clear. He also remained active in his fraternity, Sigma Chi, of which he was a founding father of the Zeta Rho chapter at Central Michigan University. He was, in fact, the first example I recall of continued fraternal involvement from an IFC member.
A quarter century since I last marched at AI, I'm an educator myself, and have been for nearly two decades. Specifically, I work in student affairs, and currently work with fraternities and sororities. This is no accident - I learned firsthand that there is much learning to be had in the cocurricular. Mr. Parets was fond of saying that part of why he did what he did was because he thought teenagers were the best thing since sliced bread. I simply found my calling with college students instead.
Mr. Parets' memorial service was held yesterday, and I saw accounts of so many of my former bandmates being reunited. Later this month, at AI's homecoming, another memorial will take place, as generations will gather in an alumni band unlike any other. I'm sadly unable to make either. But I know the memorials won't end there. Wherever alumni gather, fond memories will be shared. It already happens when I spend time with my brother, who graduated five years after me, and many of my friends and contemporaries. In reading messages shared by other loved ones, it's amazing, though not surprising, how many of us became educators. This is one more way Mr. Parets' legacy lives on - and through us, to the students we impact. The lessons will live on. The music will live on. And though he's no longer with us physically, Paul Parets will live on.
Comments